hi! i'm currently in 4th year of my study. suddenly, i become a senior. when i look at the juniors, i'm thinking ..oh i AM SO OLD!!!
my last posting was cardiology. i don't really like cardiology but i don't know why. the thing is, i was terrified to be in that ward. there are cases like, the patients look healthy and young. but they have heart attack. when i talk to them, they said "i jog 5 times a week....i eat fried food everyday" what??? fried food everyday????? i eat fried food everyday toooo!!! so, i started to have this diet regime. it is simply not to lose weight. i just want to reduce my cholesterol. so i bought 1kg of oat and raisins. i promise myself not to look for the food. it means like, if i'm home, i will never went out to eat. i just eat my oat. at first, on my 3rd day without rice with those fried lauk pauk...i felt like fainting..i didn't have energy. yet, i know my self. it's just psycology!!!mengada2 je nak makan. then, after a week, i feel nothing. i feel normal. one thing that change, i don't have cravings anymore. i don't think like "today, i must find char kuey tiow. i will have nasik tomyam for dinner"..insyaallah..i will be healthier..
i'm not obsess. it's just, i think, if i live long, i want to live happily without taking any medications everyday. it is suffering to get hypertension at 23(years-old), admitted to hospital at 26 due to very bad headache due to hypertension, having heart attack at 35, having heart failure at 50..i hate medications. to patients who have this long term illness, they can't take their favourite food..rendang..satay...tembikai...it's suffering. if i'm taking good care of my health, i watch what i eat, i watch my weight and i exercise regularly...if God still give me those illnessess, i will know that it is a test for me, to see my patience. i'll know that this illness is not my fault and i'll never regret and i'll never blame myself until i die.
this ramadhan, i'm currently in infectious diseases posting. well, this is where people with HIV, TB is.. betul2 menguji iman! in this ramadhan, we must try our best to think positive, never talk bad about people...but..knowing this man cheating on his wife with other man..this man spreading HIV to his wife and she is like, very redha but the man is still tengking2 the wife eventhough HE IS THE CAUSE FOR THIS!!! hey! as a woman, i am furiously angry!!!
to me, there is a large difference between INNOCENT and STUPIDITY. i learn that LOVE alone is not enough to build a relationship. we can't eat LOVE. we need love of course. but we still need money. to get money, people must work. to work people must be hardworking and healthy. other than all of that, we need respect. so..is it very brilliant to marry people who use drugs, who have multiple sexual parners and even treat you like a slave??? many people, women expecially say things like "he will change someday.." from my experiece, there are only 2 things that can change a person
1. he, himself determine to change
2. GOD makes him change
i think, waiting for a person to change is not a smart thing to do...you definitely can't choose your parents but you can choose your life partner and you can change your own life
the next thing i learn is, i am a believer in Islam and I believe in Science. homosexuality is prohibited. there are many diseases associated with homosexual and they are scary..
but, doctors can't pick which patient he wants to treat and which he doesn't want to. doctors must treat them equally with no prejudice. so i think, we just do our job, jgn jaga tepi kain org and let Allah judge them. human naturally org melayu kata "dah terhantuk baru terngadah". they always do things without thinking of the consequences. but when something bad happen to them, alhamdulillah, they repent. and when they repent, they will be the nicest human on earth. more pious then normal people..maybe it is their way to enter heaven. Wallahualam. slamat menyambut ramadhan! slamat berpuasa!!
